Every edge that I jump from;
every memory that I try to bury within
the freckled folds of my unkempt bedsheets;
every word that I take back
and fill my half-empty stomach with (never not empty);
all comes back like
gruel on the back of a bathroom sink.
I hear voices telling me to
forgive them and forgive myself and move on
but How Can I forgive
when reluctance clouds Feelings –
The gnawing of an undecided answer
burns my insides like the lack
of anything nutritious (always an empty stomach).
Pushing and telling me to eat;
morsels stuck in her hair
stuck in my teeth.
Amidst the white noise of
me crying, coping
I wonder –
How Can I Feel? when
there is no human left in me.