Category: Archives
Constellation of Pleasure: Only the Stars Can Hear Me
Chapter 1: Bloodguilt “You’re done with your period, right?” Elijah asked as he lit the candle on the nightstand beside his bed. It was already burnt down from use, but I knew better than to ask why. I wasn’t sure how to answer him at first. I had seen some Read more
I don’t tell my story for you.
I don’t tell my story for you. A myth of struggle, the absolute vulnerability that comes with cracking myself wide open, a specimen placed under a microscope, suddenly splayed out for everyone’s opinions. I never asked for your judgment, nor did I ask for your pity. Does it make you Read more
Why I Can’t Stop Buying Things
As I looked down at the near-full perfume bottles, Shoes I haven’t worn since high school, Shirts that stopped fitting ten pounds ago, And dozens of pairs of panties, socks, and ripped hosiery, I realized why I can’t stop buying things—I don’t like myself very much. Paying for color analyses, Read more
For the Girl in Row 5
It’s easy money. Walk slowly, hands behind your back, checking no one is cheating. Up and down the rows of desks, quietly handing out tissues, pens. For a teacher of 5 year olds, exam invigilation with 16 year olds is a breeze. Some children look anxious, one girl is biting Read more
I thought I would teach you
It’s not easy to admit that they fell a few more millimeters. That’s what I think when I get out of the shower and face my entire body. I don’t accept counting in centimeters as long as that mirror is mine. As if that would reverse or delay this accursed Read more
MOI
Who is MOI? Me, Only, and I Born from icky lives and pounding bassoons Feathered with lights and crawling beauties Raped by hierarchy filled with droughts and wide crowns Crafted into idols throughout unmarked time and shapeless space Bathed in oceans of rage and melting sand Cured by infinite memes Read more
Trapped Tears
It’s back, that distantly familiar swell under my ribs, a bitter sensation, like crying which is desperate to escape. Is it my trapped tears, all alone inside my chest? Or the hollow itself that they inhabit, which hurts? The aching makes me inhale, throbbing intensifies. Perhaps because my sorrow is Read more