Dating + Relationships

10 Reasons to Love, or Not Love, Valentine’s Day

“Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it’s always just my luck to get one perfect...

Continue reading

First Comes Love, Then Comes?

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Deanna pushing a baby carriage. Most of us grew up singing this little ditty in the...

Continue reading

The End of the Line

I woke up, mouth wide open, with my cheek snuggled into the wet spot of saliva on my pillow. The scent of stale vodka, tinged with a splash...

Continue reading

Texting With My Ex

Break 1 The first time we broke up, we met at an old-fashioned ice cream stand. I ordered a strawberry shake, and we sat at the edge of the...

Continue reading

Yes, Let’s Draw the Line Aziz Ansari

By now we’ve all read the Babe article; “I went on a date with Aziz Ansari, and it turned into the worst night of my life” which...

Continue reading

Memoirs of a Legal Courtesan: A sex/love addict’s journey

Memoirs of a Legal Courtesan is about my zany, fun, sexy, dangerous, lonely, courageous, and painful life of longing, lust, and love. I...

Continue reading

Agony Column

Dear Glutton for Punishment, How much longer are you going to put yourself through hell with this man? You’ve been dating three years...

Continue reading

Brave Enough

We couldn’t survive the hurt Our injured, tattered, fragmented souls had weathered too much and we couldn’t weather each other any...

Continue reading

Why Did You Kill My Sister?

“To rise, first you must burn.” ― Hiba Fatima Ahmad Dear Mike, When you were alive, I never quite knew the day of your birthday. Kay...

Continue reading

LOST

How can the voices I don’t hear compete with the voices you do? For loving you has become difficult and the wanting of you now...

Continue reading

Stake It

I turned into a vampire for you. I wanted to walk with you I wanted to love you. I never tried enough too busy in my own head. Overthinking...

Continue reading

Thank You Ashley Judd: Politically Incorrect (but true) Advice From A Guy On Sexual Harassment

Sexual harassment: sex·u·al ha·rass·ment_noun_harassment (typically of a woman) in a workplace, or other professional or social...

Continue reading

Vehicles and Men

If it has tires or testicles, it’s going to give you problems. The bumper sticker was catchy and summed my life up to a capital T. I...

Continue reading

Leaving My Ex Sparked Decades of Unintended Consequences

“My name is Precious, how can I help you?” “I think I need to go to your shelter,” I blurted. My daughters, still both in diapers,...

Continue reading

Lungful

I am supposed to breathe better know all the grammar rules ask me how to spell a word you will not need to look it up here I am, your own...

Continue reading

Shameless Confessions of the Anhedonic Housewife

I. Slowly biting the corner of her lower lip Running her fingers through her long, brown hair She walked across the darkened hotel room...

Continue reading

Sage/Slut/Phoenix

Dictionaries are filled with words used to insult women: whore, tart, and tramp, for starters. But no word equals slut for its power to...

Continue reading

In This Moment

He brings me watermelon cubes in bed, in a kind act of sharing a favorite treat of his with me. I see him so clearly then for what he is:...

Continue reading

Jacta Alea Est

The other night, after we both took back-to back-potty runs at 1 AM, my wife Alison and I settled back in bed. As I expected, she...

Continue reading

Real Me

I never changed I simply became the better version of myself It’s because of you… Did you know? The way you never showed any interest...

Continue reading

The Fight

You wrecked the party I was having fun, we had driven for hours You played the same card as usual I was angry, your timing was dire You...

Continue reading

Crazy Stupid Love

My last real boyfriend was named Jave, and we were together from 2000 to 2002. By “real” I mean, he didn’t exist solely as a product...

Continue reading

Sex Etiquette 101: A field guide for lovers

Try as I might, I haven’t found a way to create a portmanteau from the words ‘sex’ and ‘etiquette’. It would have been so neat to...

Continue reading

Dear Sir

“There was a flower in her heart, it just needed more room to bloom, and when she let it free, she showed the world that sometimes...

Continue reading

There is a Hooker in All of Us. Isn’t there?

Originally published October 14, 2015 When I was small, I used to tell my mother, “When I grow up I’m moving to...

Continue reading

Marriage

I sit alone in my bedroom you sit alone on the couch. You go to work I stay home. You never call. I never text. Our wedding portrait is on...

Continue reading