- He Just Came Out to Me, Now What?
- Giving the Gift of “No”
- I Blinked and Became One of Them!
- Lawd, Have Mercy, the Kids are Divorcing
- Are You Too Busy to Visit a Friend?
- What We Can Learn from those Aggravating Ants
- If You Don’t Have One, Go Out and Get One!
- Betrayal, Unforgiveness and You
- “You… Sooo SKINNY!”
- Racism: The Conversation that is No Longer Optional
- The Lost Art of Oral History
- Where Did All My Money Go?
- Getting Back Into the Dating Game
- Parenting Adult Children. Not.
- Asking for HELP
- The Legacy of the Recipe
- A Gift for Your Family
- The Benefits of Traveling with Your Grandchildren
- Finding the Right Travel Partner
Will somebody help me…please?
This article could start out with “Outta Gonna Should-have”…regarding our adult children.
Am I the only one who wished that they could turn back the hands of time?
It is a slippery slope when your children move on to adulthood and you are still in your parenting mode. Do you give advice that won’t be taken and just hold your breath as they start to run into the brick wall that you saw waiting for them a long time ago? On the other hand…do you speak your mind and end up with a possible smack down with an overtone of “Things are way different now than when you were our age?’
In the past, I have done more than my share of overstepping my boundaries in an effort to “help”. We all want what is best for our children, but our adult children have to find their way and make their own mistakes. Do you make that loan to ease their pain? Do you baby sit when you would rather be doing something else? When are you helping and when are you simply an enabler?
Can anyone say Tough Love?
Along the way, I have learned and am still learning that the best advice you can give is no advice unless it is requested. Even then, a good solid response is, “I have all the confidence in the world that you will make the best decision regarding…the whatever.” It can be tough to take this position, but I try…even though at times I may winch internally and really want to take control of the situation.
I once read that:
“Deciding to have a child, is deciding to forever have your heart walk outside of your body.”
This feeling does not really end once they leave your nest. Now take a deep breath and let them carve out their own path…we did.
They will be just fine…I think.