I felt it as the first wave crashed upon me-
the water percolating on my skin
forming dews, resting around my chest.
I felt it as it drowned my throat
and I wished that it would drown me too.
But since the summer of 2016, I have learnt how to swim
in prolonged tides, in deep water, in a tsunami
in a hurricane.
hues from my last depression, an
ultraviolet, blinding ambiance that demolished my vision,
renewed my sense of self apathy.
restless, rising, roaring – I thought I understood myself better.
in the coming of winter
curtains closed, a new dead end
another new path to take. I was awake all-night crying.
November hit with a tidal shock and now June
ensues another scar.
I am body italic
there aren’t enough pieces left of me to rebuild
this calamity demolished my demeanor-
am I a new person now
or am I digging back into my roots to start anew?