- He Just Came Out to Me, Now What?
- Giving the Gift of “No”
- I Blinked and Became One of Them!
- Lawd, Have Mercy, the Kids are Divorcing
- Are You Too Busy to Visit a Friend?
- What We Can Learn from those Aggravating Ants
- If You Don’t Have One, Go Out and Get One!
- Betrayal, Unforgiveness and You
- “You… Sooo SKINNY!”
- Racism: The Conversation that is No Longer Optional
- The Lost Art of Oral History
- Where Did All My Money Go?
- Getting Back Into the Dating Game
- Parenting Adult Children. Not.
Many of us have marinated in our sorrow because of the loss of a loved one, a relationship with someone or the loss of never even knowing a special loved one. My daughter taught me something years ago that still rings true today.
Wendy has always idolized my mother, whom she never met. She would constantly pepper me with questions about her. My mother had a cousin, Louise, who lived nearby in Los Angeles, and when Wendy was in college, we would visit her from time to time. As was traditional in my mother’s age group, you would refer to a best friend as “Cousin” or “Aunt.” Wendy called me up one day and said that she needed a grandmother and was planning to ask Aunt Louise to be her “grandmother.” Say what? She didn’t have a grandmother but had the need for one, so she reached out to Aunt Louise. Once they talked about it, Aunt Louise told Wendy from that day on she was only to call her “Grandmother.”
As I type, I am looking out of my window, and I’m watching my two grandsons busily building a birdhouse with my neighbor, Andy. Andy does not have grandchildren, and both of my grandsons have lost their grandfathers. My seven-year-old grandson, Maxi, wanted a grandfather, so he went out and adopted Andy. Seeing them interact brings tears to my eyes. Maxi had a need and set about fulfilling it, just like my daughter Wendy.
I realized I have “sons,” “daughters,” “parents,” and “sisters” who have deeply enriched my life, and there is no common DNA!
So, I think my daughter and grandson had brilliant ideas, if you want a son, a daughter, a brother, a sister, a grandmother or any other relationship for which you have a need … go out and get yourself one!