“You look tired.”
Yeah.
“Late night?”
No….no, it’s not that.
I’m tired of trying change;
of trying to heal from the trauma;
of trying to discover a plateau of self-acceptance;
of trying to be an adequate person, and better wife;
of trying to worry less about being a good mother.
I’m tired of trying to be easier for those I love;
of trying to lose weight through futile dieting;
of trying to relax the painful tension in my body;
of trying to silence the voice of my vile inner-critic,
who never runs short of hateful jibes
which sometimes make me want to cry.
I’m tired of trying to be in the world this way.
Yeah.
[smiling faintly]
Yeah, late night.
Photo by Dmitry Schemelev on Unsplash
Judith Staff
Judith Staff’s background is in teaching and early years education. She still teaches occasionally, though now her main focus is in child welfare and safeguarding children. Her work includes delivering training, presenting at conferences, and engaging in collaborative projects with schools around child abuse awareness and sexual violence prevention. She enjoys writing blogs and poetry on topics she feels passionate about. Judith loves running, gym classes and karate. She is married to an art lecturer and they live in Northamptonshire, England with their three free-spirited children, a 12- year-old son, and daughters aged 11 and 9.
