V1
This string of lights I hold in my hands always looks so pretty
So bright, so perfect and hangs just so
Each bulb is where it is meant to be
There are no knots in the wire
Or broken filaments
And each part hangs just where I want it
All making sense way up high on the wall
V2
Why can’t I get my life to fit so neatly together?
Green, blue, pink, yellow
Green, blue, pink, yellow
One after another
The pattern never strays
You know what’s coming next, how things should fit together
V3
Why can’t my life be like my string of lights?
I am holding on so tightly
Spinning one too many plates as they say
Thinking that if I can only get this to happen, then he and she and they will follow too
Except it never happens or she and he and they turn up at the wrong time
Or don’t turn up at all.
V4
I am holding on too tight and it’s breaking
I am wishing on stars, and crossing my fingers, my legs and pretending magical thinking exists
Life is not a string of coloured lights
All making sense way up high on the wall
V5
He won’t love me when I am this or that
He won’t sleep with me so then I can leave
My smart words will be left in rehearsals because life and love aren’t like that
I won’t leave him to then find my dream
Life is not a trade, one love for another
There is no emotional balance sheet
V6
It is never what you want or what you expect
And it is never ever fair
So why can’t I ever learn?
That life is not a string of coloured lights
All making sense way up high on the wall
V7
So why do I hang on to my coloured string of lights?
When my arms are aching above my head and my eyes are hurting from the glow
Put it down
Let it drop and smash
Let it go as my mother always said
I can hold it forever and all my nightmares can still come true
V8
Life is not a string of coloured lights
All making sense way up high on the wall
© Indiemonozar | Dreamstime.com
Emily Algar
Emily Frances Algar is a journalist and writer. She has experience in the music industry working as the A&R on the Grammy Nominated Album (Best Folk Album) Front Porch by artist Joy Williams. Emily has been published in a number of print and digital publications including Atwood Magazine, American Songwriter, and Record Collector magazine. She specializes in both long and short-form features as well as interviews and reviews. She has written pieces ranging from the commercialization of feminism and feminism in popular culture, critiques surrounding freedom of speech and the #MeToo movement as well as recently interviewing refugees from Iran. Emily has a Masters in International Security from Oxford Brookes University. Her thesis looked at the extent to which the media shaped public opinion during the Vietnam and Iraq (2003) wars.
