Bad Things

“And all those shadows they’re filled up with doubt.
I wanna do bad things with you.” –Jace Everett, Bad Things

Nirvana
was
lying
for days
sharing a
too small bed
we were
two commas
a perfect fit

It was all
so easy
so fine
so good
does my memory lie
and hide bad things?

So in love with you I was
I knew you loved me first
you made
me laugh
oh, God
how I love your
silly notes
made up words
New Yorker cartoons

Music man
you knew where
you were going
while
purpose eluded me
I chose wine and weed
instead
does my memory lie
and hide bad things?

I see photos
young
we were so young
two kids
playing house in
tiny spaces
we called home
in 90210

Then
you took Europe
I took LA
a continent divide
just like us
I did wonder
I did think
would he
could he
but it was
much too far
much too late
and marriage
eventually
sent me an
invite

In time
you found your fame
I found my career
haven’t seen you
in a lifetime
an unexpected
contact
has jarred my thoughts
to things long ago
locked away
does my memory lie
and hide bad things?

I am not foolish
I know I was
the one
who made mistakes
hurt you
ran over you
again
and
again
and again once more

I writhe with guilt
thinking
thinking
thinking
how could I be
so unkind
to someone
so kind
does my memory lie
and hide bad things?

Undecided
if I want
forgiveness from
you
or
forgiveness from
me

How would life be
if I’d gone with you
should I have
could I have
never will I know
does my memory lie
and hide bad things?

Now I’m grown
and know how
to behave
with a man
like you
my apologies they ring
so shallow

It’s an eternity
too late
and you are far, far away
but, yes
my memory did lie
I now know
I did do bad things

And somewhere
in the
continent divide
is someone
who loved you
I really did








Dori Owen

Dori Owen is a storyteller, writing from small town Arizona, after living a few decades in California as an LA Wild Child, with a brief stop in Reno. She settled into grownup life as a project manager, collecting an MBA and a few husbands along the way. She is a shown artist and her favorite pastime is upcycling old furniture and decor she finds from thrift stores. She lives with her rescued terrier, Olivia Twist, and the cat who came to visit but stayed. The love of her life is her grown son who lives in Portland, Oregon. Her essays and poems have been published in RAW&UNFILTERED VOL I, StigmaFighters Vol 2, and Love Notes From Humanity. Her blogs have been featured on The Lithium Chronicles, Open Thought Vortex, Sudden Denouement, and The Mighty.

11 thoughts on “Bad Things

  1. Jackie CioffaJackie Cioffa Reply

    I was right there with you, such beautiful prose I love this. It is filled with so much emotion, I found myself holding my breath and feeling, experiencing the twinge of regret.
    Thank you, for your masterful words.

    xx Jackie

    1. doriowendoriowen Reply

      Thanks, Mary, so much. I’m really not much of a poet, it just kind of stumbled out. I think I was 22? 24? A lifetime ago…..xoxoD.

  2. doriowendoriowen Reply

    Thank you, revered poetry mentor. Please know you gave me the line you enjoy so much. How funny we seem to trade good words…I love this and I love you. Your friendship means everything to me. Oh, and Scotty, him too. 🙂
    Yours in tiny invaluables, xoD.

  3. Nicole Lyons Reply

    Dori,

    You have written something remarkable here. The poetry is beautiful – overflowing with emotions. The what was and the what-ifs strike me most, and this, “Undecided if I want forgiveness from you or if I want forgiveness from me” that is powerful. I hope you find which it is and I hope you get it all.

    Gorgeous poem.

    1. doriowendoriowen Reply

      Thank you, revered poetry mentor. Please know you gave me the line you enjoy so much. How funny we seem to trade good words…I love this and I love you. Your friendship means everything to me. Oh, and Scotty, him too. Yours in tiny invaluables, xoD.
      P.S. As you can see, I lived through the night….. 🙂 🙂 🙂

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