Someday Someway

If someone should ask
what is a regret?
I would answer
truthfully and say
not mastering
how to stay.

I’ve pretended to sleep
with men who loved me
and some
I have loved back.
I do find myself
in spite of myself
plotting
escape routes
instead of
savoring sweet dreams.

A man
once dubbed me
uncontainable.
I thought it was banter
and laughed.
Instead it became
an anthem
a self-fulfilling prophecy.

It may be a defense
a fear of being left first
or perhaps
I’m a chimera
in disguise.

But please
don’t misunderstand
I have not canceled
chasing my happily ever after.
Instead of passages out
I’ll soon be planning ways to stay.

“If you can’t tell me what you need
All I can do is wonder why
Someday, someway
Maybe I’ll understand you”
–Marshall Crenshaw

Photo Credit: The Urban Scot Flickr via Compfight cc

Dori Owen

Dori Owen blogs on ArizonaGirlDiary.tumblr.com, is a columnist on FeminineCollective.com, a contributor/editor for The Lithium Chronicles, created the Facebook page Diary of an Arizona Girl, is an author on AskABipolar, was featured in the books FeminineCollective RAW&UNFILTERED VOL I and StigmaFighters Vol II, and is a zealous tweeter as @doriowen. She's a former LA wild child who settled into grownup life as a project manager, collecting an MBA and a few husbands along the way. Dori spent her adult years in Southern California, with a brief stay in Reno, and has now returned to where she ran away from in Arizona. She is a shown artist, writer, and her favorite pastime is upcycling old furniture she finds from thrift stores. She lives with her beloved rescued terrier, Olivia Twist, and the cat who came to visit but stayed. The love of her life is her grown son in Portland, Oregon who very much resents being introduced after her pets. But she she does love him the most.

12 Comments
  1. Jacqueline Cioffa

    I’m a runner, I can so relate. Beautiful, Dori.
    I love this passage
    “But please
    don’t misunderstand
    I have not canceled
    chasing my happily ever after.
    Instead of passages out
    I’ll soon be planning ways to stay.”

    Someday. Xo

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *