My thoughts are eternally submerged in a mire of self-disgust.

I watch, aloof as the filth of this cruelty is accumulating around me,

repugnant insults carried on the glistening spittle flying off my tongue.

Hate-filled thoughts create a layer of crusty grime, hardening on the floor,

in time, I can almost hear the poison residue growing brittle beneath my soles.

Vicious inward punishments form a loathsome slurry in a vat of toxicity,

its fathomless depths threaten to consume me whole, but no one notices.

Mirrors reflect wretched ugliness, feeding the festering rot flourishing inside me.

Occasionally detectable, a faint scent of childhood joy permeates my dreams;

distant memories of delight in satin hair-ribbons, silky between small fingers

or muffled night-sounds of teenage camp-outs on hot summer evenings.

But like a lighter flame, they’re vanishing as a door opens;

a gust of abhorrence fills the rooms of my mind with waste,

once more.

Photo Credit: _Pek_ Flickr via Compfight cc

Judith Staff

Judith Staff’s background is in teaching and early years education. She still teaches occasionally, though now her main focus is in child welfare and safeguarding children. Her work includes delivering training, presenting at conferences, and engaging in collaborative projects with schools around child abuse awareness and sexual violence prevention. She enjoys writing blogs and poetry on topics she feels passionate about. Judith loves running, gym classes and karate. She is married to an art lecturer and they live in Northamptonshire, England with their three free-spirited children, a 12- year-old son, and daughters aged 11 and 9.

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