Words on Paper: A Visceral Love Story

Loneliness.
Sadness.
A whisper of impending defeat.

“Less than” disable emotions creep in as my mind slows with a need to unclench.

Weakened barriers.
Weary soldiers.
Relentless dreams.
A hunger so furious it feels all consuming.

What do I do between the moments of mass creation?
How do I quiet the thoughts?

Trees that go on forever. Large peaks of leafed green reaching for bottomless clouds. A fearless soul on a journey of redemption. The antihero searching inside themselves. Magic creatures deep underground with missions of great importance. The noise of the world, my concerns of varying degrees step aside. The music fitting the mood I seek drones in the background. Desperate lyrics washed in a frenetic beat from another’s dreams. A world rebuilt of walled crystal. Beings dance in circles with reasons chosen for them.

Ink sprawled across the paper turns to words that build a village.
They even destroy it.
Sentences meld to gain a greater meaning.
A key to worlds yet discovered.

Images play in my head. Dreams. Impossible hopes beyond anything I can fathom. I can’t quite see all that I want to, my small mind can always see as far as I can. Trapped in a microcosm of multiple facets. A suspect in our constitution below the undergrowth.

“Can you see me?”

A tale of cost, of power. The tree to see. The house to build. The hole to fall into. The heart to break. Mystery apart from honesty. Hold back enough. Give the picture all the clarity it needs. Leave them wanting more. Details weaved in lines of dialogue. Rocks so red it would burn my eyes. A spiral of complicated theories and premeditated hope. An unfathomable trick.

Waves crashing.
A sky riddled with stars.
Everything can be seen that’s desired.
Opinion.
Collected tools.
Blind optimism.
Head in clouds.
Dirt miles from the soles of my feet.
Lines bleed together.
The clock disappears.
A world where there no time and no real breath.
Each syllable I feel in my toes.

Time to wander. A need to get lost. Unfolding thoughts. Cards breaking loose from the deck landing where they may. Doubt. Questions and fears. A desirable hope broken away to unseen pieces behind walls of pride.

A song beneath the page built small pieces. Ripped bits fading into concepts of grander design.

A juggling act on a wire.
Blindfolded.
The strong stretch of tears trails the path to beyond.
Tunnels of darkness.
Endless blacks and browns.

Then with the right thought appears. A passage hidden under a box. Stairs lead down dark corridors. Then everything breaks then rebuilt. A new place. New faces. Glimpses of violet and green emerge until it blankets the different earth. Wide open spaces. Castles built on deceit.

Everything is there for the taking.

 
Photo Credit: Ah Wei (Lung Wei) Flickr via Compfight cc



Jayme Beddingfield

Jayme Beddingfield is the host and producer of ‘Too Many Words’ a comedy interview podcast. She is also the creator of ‘Elliot Granger and The Clueless Brigade’, which is a weekly serial that follows Elliot Granger as she stumbles through grief and growing up. The series is featured as both a fictional podcast and written story that appears on The Scribbler. Jayme has been crafting stories since her third-grade assignment to write her own fairy tale. She prefers to work from the sofa with her dogs by her feet. Originally from Northern New Jersey, she now lives in Seattle, the city of her dreams. She lives with her husband, two children, and a slew of adopted pets. She is completely post-apocalyptic obsessed and also admits to being an audio enthusiast and recovering supervillain.

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