I’ve been hesitant to write this because I didn’t want to piss off my baby girl, but here we go. In an ideal world, this is what I would want. In reality, I have no more control over this than which way the wind is blowing.
1. Don’t look at her like a snack.
My daughter is aesthetically appealing. I get that. Don’t look at her like a snack. It pisses me off. See beyond what she looks like.
2. Have manners and common courtesy.
Show me something here. Make an effort. Basic rules: Say something when you walk into a room. Shake my hand. Look me in the eye. If someone else walks into the room, stand up and introduce yourself. Make an effort at conversation. Don’t be a suck-up, but let me know you were not raised by wolves.
3. Be thoughtful.
She will always be my baby. She’s impressionable. I want to see a healthy dynamic from the get-go. Be thoughtful.
4. Control freaks need not apply.
She is an adult. She makes her own decisions. She is not your possession. She is first your friend and then your lover. Don’t forget that. Ever. Where you come together is after managing your own lives.
5. Have something going for yourself.
You probably don’t have your whole life mapped out, but few interesting people do. Have a job or a business, or be in school. Be confident. Know something about something.
6. Hold on to your balls.
She is tough so don’t let her p-whip you. She’ll just get bored and pitch you to the curb. Have a set and keep ‘em.
7. Don’t be cheap.
But don’t be showering her with expensive gifts either. Sometimes if she sees something shiny she gets distracted.
8. Don’t even think about being emotionally or physically abusive.
I will hunt you down like a dog.
9. Realize that she is independent and that will not change.
Be prepared to accept that and appreciate it. Relationship dynamics and human nature tend to dictate that she will hope to change you into her ideal and you will hope she’ll never change and neither is likely to happen. Expect it and deal.
Dads out there—can you relate?