Come Back to Me Lemon

Well, this is absolutely going to ruin my love of all things lemon, I thought as I held a lemon swab in my mom’s mouth for her. This seemingly benign, care-taking piece of her cancer meds pack. Fresh, sweet lemon scented…

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A Widow’s Gift to Me

In October of 1988, a neighbor of mine lost her husband in a freak car accident. I first heard the news in a conversation with my son’s teacher. “Did you hear about that accident the Friday night before Halloween? The most…

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Mechanical Progress

I mean, yes, we are on a bed. Of course, we are on a bed because this is a fantasy and because beds mean rest, and intimacy and love. It’s a swirling white puddle—big billowy duvet and overstuffed pillows with the…

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A Bad Relationship, A Hateful Sister-in-law, A New Me

“She said, ‘cocktail of mental illness …” Emma relayed the information verbatim from the source. “She also said that ‘your engagement pictures looked like you were trying to hide an accidental pregnancy with the sweater choices.” She finished what hurl of…

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Epilogue: It’s Almost Christmas and I Forgot to be Sad.

A friend recently asked me how I was dealing with holiday depression. Until she asked, I hadn’t given it a thought. What a difference a year makes. On this day twelve months ago I wrote, “Can We Just Cancel Christmas This…

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GIRL-6

She finds her resolve upstairs, in a built-in cupboard in her bedroom, a cool black nook between eaves. She empties the house of herself, in a way – she can’t see anything, and in the wood, a sacredness and functionality must…

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Self-Care and the Art of Blending In

The word recovery has always frightened me when it came to my own mental health. How do I recover from something that is with me for the rest of my life? When I was first made aware that I had a…

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Her Unwitting Accomplices

As the automatic doors swished open, my mother began her search. The grocery store’s bakery was on our immediate right. Mom zeroed in on her target, pushing her shopping cart toward a plain woman in a peacock blue trench. To keep…

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