addiction

Self-Care and the Art of Blending In

The word recovery has always frightened me when it came to my own mental health. How do I recover from something that is with me for the...

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A Beautiful Crashing

You are right, like always. I will not take one other step without said approval. I only want to be on your road but look and see –...

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Fake It Until You Kill Yourself

This isn’t a poem or a blog post. This isn’t a satirical article or a cry for help. It’s just a simple question. “What will be the...

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And They Say, Poor Woman

I don’t know why I drink. For the way it makes me feel I guess – like so maybe the bad things don’t feel like they are...

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Killing Myself to Sleep

I’m not complaining about being sober. The benefits of sobriety alone completely outweigh the losing prize waiting for me at the end of...

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Five Year Gap

Five-year gap It could have been ten, I was so young then Just sixteen, you were just ‘old’ Policing my youth, like you always knew...

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I Was a Fearless Little Girl

I’ll never know if my mother thought that she might have had a cross dressing pre-teen son, or maybe she just thought that I was just a...

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Whirlpools and Windmills: I Choose the Present

I can be like a boat passing by and flowing onward or get mired in it trying to make it what it is not, and whirl around and around...

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Five Fatimas Five

A decade a coke Whore A year pathetic Hermit

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Little Nose

Little Nose All my pain and all my woes Go right up my little nose Now I am free, so unexposed But my friend, she stunts my growth And in...

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My Relapse

April 11th, 2014, Rochester NY: It was a little after two o’clock in the morning; I was driving my car as steady as I possibly could,...

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My Non-Television Mother and Me: The Apology

Part 3 of a 3 part series. After interviewing my mother, reading through the archives of my memoirs, taking note of the dark memories that...

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The Widow

Every early morning she leashes her old dog, walks down to and through the forest to the lake. She looks younger than her fifty-six years,...

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47 Trips Around the Sun

One of the signs of passing youth is the birth of a sense of fellowship with other human beings as we take our place among them. -Virginia...

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This is Why

I crumple on the exam table, feeling small and dusty like a battered moth. Eventually, the grease on my body began to congeal after days of...

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Hypnotic Haze – The Last Confession of an Addict

Tripping by the moonlight, fatal mistakes the feeling of flight over the night sky as the drugs kick in a reality of delight feels so...

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Corner Life

A junkie coworker of mine steals cars and drives them to drug clinics to score his methadone fix. He’s always on time because no one...

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’89

In a picture that dates back to 89’, my mother holds me close, my brother as well. She cradles us on top of a bar stool, points at the...

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I Think My Obsession Made You Feel Bad About Your Body

I’ve written countless words that have made their way onto the internet in a multitude of public to quasi-private forums. I’ve blogged...

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Video Gaming Addiction: A real threat?

We all know the stories. The Korean couple who left their new baby to starve nearly to death while they “fed” and cared for their...

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BDSM and Swinging

In the summer of 2008, I left my life-in-law and felt inspired to write down my “sexcapades” as a legal outlaw. Perhaps my...

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