After the Breakdown

If I had not exploded, I would never have found my fuse. I would not know where my dynamite is stored or who I should let light my fire. If I didn’t fall apart, I never could have known the brilliance of love, the pain of ignorance or the power of conviction.

If I had not broken into a million little pieces, you would try to play the integrity card. I could never have proved you wrong. Why should I prove anything to anyone? Because I have to, it is the way that I am made.

If I had not been blown to shreds, I would not have recognized the patterns, my patterns of genius. A quiet genius that breathes just below my cells, genius that says,’One more time.’

If I had not fallen apart, I would not know courage. It takes courage to carry my pieces all this way.

If I had not lost my mind, I would not be here right now, telling you that you can do it, as I have done.

Photo Credit: torbakhopper Flickr via Compfight cc

Julie Anderson

Julie Anderson is the Creator and Publisher of Feminine Collective. Julie was inspired to create this safe place for women to share their secrets, desires, triumphs and pain as the antithesis of what mainstream media offers women today. In her column Pursuit of Perfection, she explores the importance of rectifying the balance of inner and outer beauty through essays, poems and articles on self-esteem, shame, family, and self- acceptance.

4 thoughts on “After the Breakdown

  1. Elaine Mansfield Reply

    Powerful, Julie. Many goddesses and a few gods (Greek, Egyptian, Sumerian) descend to the Underworld to claim their full power. It means getting lost and coming apart. It means losing the ego as it was and being born anew. This wonderful piece is a perfect description of that initiation.

    1. Julie AndersonJulie Anderson Post author Reply

      Elaine-
      You are a wealth of information, I had no idea about the mythology of visiting the Underworld. I will say though, that breaking down, is the best thing that has happened to me. Twice now – both times, I have emerged stronger.

      Thank you again, for your support. Means the world to me.
      x J

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