All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted
turned into something I never knew.
Blood colored manacles on my wrists, the reflection of that wish.
Incandescent light blotted out the rain
Fire and brimstone tear through my skin
Trembling, terrified the thought of everything I have ever wanted is the silkiest kiss

All I ever wanted
turned into what I don’t miss
Frantic spasm of the crushed wing my angel did not deliver
Virtuous relief can not soothe the sting of wanting what I never knew
Standing silent
while dancing in the Devil’s ring
Nothing is as nothing does
holds true
Patient dreams disappear in the bright fissures of time

All I ever wanted was never real
Justify the counting, ticking in my head.
It must be somewhere this thing that hides in the sand of solitude.
Beating black mass of things that were never said.
Can’t find them, the words have run so very fast ahead.

Taunt me
Trick me
Tell me something new.
Entertain my glory with wisdom’s edge.
Delight my fancy with sarcasm’s worry.

Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me something I never knew.
All I ever wanted was for me, never for you.

Photo: ©Julie Anderson All Rights Reserved
 

Julie Anderson

Julie Anderson is the Creator and Publisher of Feminine Collective. Julie was inspired to create this safe place for women to share their secrets, desires, triumphs and pain as the antithesis of what mainstream media offers women today. In her column Pursuit of Perfection, she explores the importance of rectifying the balance of inner and outer beauty through essays, poems and articles on self-esteem, shame, family, and self- acceptance.

6 thoughts on “All I Ever Wanted

  1. Shareen Mansfield Reply

    I wish I could write like this. I can’t. Poetry is so beautiful. I have never been able to write a poem intentionally. Sometimes after a seizure or when I’m giving advice I sound poetic. English being my second language I think in Arabic first .. This can sound lyrical or poetic. Never intentional on my part. This made me feel. I never know what will connect with me. This did.

    1. Julie AndersonJulie Anderson Post author Reply

      Shareen,
      Thank you for your beautiful comment. This is the first time I ever attempted to write a poem. I know its odd.
      But I guess, I am odd. So there.
      xx
      J

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