Getting Back Into the Dating Game

OK…you now find yourself a 50+ widow/widower with a bit of living left to do.

You enjoy your time with family and friends. Your days are full with trips to the gym, taking a Tai Chi class, knitting or tutoring grandchildren. Yet, something was missing.

Ah, yes…companionship was what was missing for me. “No”, I did not need a man to build my life around, but I knew that I wanted a man in the building of my new life.

Where the devil do you start? There ain’t a “Safe Man/Woman for the New Widow/Widower Store!”

My suggestion is that you start with yourself.

You have to make sure that you are “whole” before you attempt to become “part” of someone else. Examine your motives for starting a relationship.

Do you want one because you are lonely? If so, if that person doesn’t work out, you will just find yourself lonely again.

Firmly decide on your wants vs your needs in a relationship and try not to compromise. You may have to tweak what you want in an ideal partner, but there may be some deal breakers.

Financial and health concerns are key considerations in evaluating a new relationship. At this point in our lives, we shouldn’t knowingly take on a lot of weight in a new relationship.

Take your time and form a friendship. A strong friendship will outlast any romantic relationship. If you find out along the way that you are in love with a friend, it is a win-win relationship for everyone.

We are in the prime of our lives and the best is yet to come.

Photo Credit: Flickr via Compfight cc

Categories: Dating + Relationships

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Beatrice Bailey

Beatrice Bailey was born and raised in Davenport, Iowa to a Baptist minister father and a mother who was a gospel recording artist. She has three sisters and one brother. She attended the University of Iowa and graduated with a BA in Psychology from California State University, Sacramento. Retired since 2004 from management positions with both the Xerox Corporation and the State of California, Bea now conducts customized seminars on “Budgeting for the Not So Rich and Famous”, “Putting the Puzzle Pieces Together…The Ultimate Balancing Act,” as well as interview techniques entitled, “Selling the Sizzle and Not the Steak.” In addition, she is an active member of St. Paul Baptist Church in Sacramento, CA, where she is an Adult Sunday School teacher. Bea has been a Head Feature Writer for Senior Magazine of Northern California. She also writes a monthly newspaper column entitled, “Uniquely Bea” Currently, she has authored a best-selling book, entitled, "Farewell, My Friend” and is conducting presentations and book signings throughout the United States and Mexico. "Radio Luz,” a Spanish Speaking Christian Radio Station, has interviewed her multiple times. Bea also was selected to be included in a book by The Author’s Show, as one of the "50 Outstanding Writers You Should Be Reading”. Bea has produced and hosted a new innovative television show, “A-Z with Bea”, which aired in November 2009 on RCCTV, Sacramento, CA. Bea is active at St. Paul Baptist Church and is an Adult Sunday school Teacher, and a Small Accountability Group Leader. She is a member of Kaiser’s Bio-Ethics Committee and on the Board of Advisors for the East Lawn Corporation. Recently, she has been asked to participate as a speaker with the Black Health Today national organization. To relax, Bea likes to work out at the gym, walk, knit, paint, sew, cook, garden, and read. Traveling within the United States, Mexico, Asia, the Caribbean, South America and Europe is one of Bea’s true passions. She has two adult children, one “bonus son”, five wonderful grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. She resides in Northern California.

One Comment
  1. I really like your post.It’s crucial to be okay on your own and develop your own interests before looking for a partner. I think it’s also important when starting to date after a long time, to take it slow and figure out what you want. At this stage of life, marriage is not always the end game, and that’s okay.

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