Mind Games: How I Changed My Life

What is your idea of a perfect day?

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who asked me that question. I thought it was a simple question, easy enough to answer.

I told my friend that a perfect day is one where I get to spend endless hours wandering a pristine beach, with or without company, I would collect seashells on the shore. The only thing on my “to do” list would be reaching my hammock on time for a blissful nap in the shade.

Then my friend told me that the question asked was part of a study conducted by psychologist Arthur Aron. Dr. Aron was researching the possibility of making two people fall in love, by answering personal questions.  He encouraged them to share intimate thoughts and memories. His paper, The Experimental Generation Of Interpersonal Closeness was published in1997 and still attracts widespread attention.

Even if a person is not looking for a soulmate, this question reveals our personal value system. Peeling back the layers and peeking into our subconscious mind, using questions like the idea of a perfect day, we are given the opportunity to check in on what makes us tick. With this knowledge, we are capable of fighting against the developed negatives built up over time, which we have stored in our psyche.

“I will never be able to do that.” “I am not smart enough.” “That promotion will never be mine; I don’t deserve it.” Negative self-talk stops us in our tracks, cementing our fears into failure.

The armchair analysis of my answer, a la my friend, left me speechless. I felt exposed. My soul had been highjacked.

My answer not only uncovered my need to recharge, but it also highlighted my lack of self-esteem. For quite some time I have felt like a train that is screeching along rusty rail tracks, basically a train wreck about to happen. Sure enough, my subconscious is asking me to reconnect with nature, focus on what is paramount in my life, but most importantly to calm down. My subconscious is tired of being bashed; it wants a release. It needs a break and desperately wants to heal.

There is nothing like blistering honesty to deliver a message. I got the memo loud and clear. Playing a mind game like asking a few innocuous questions gets to the nitty-gritty of what needs to change to live your dream.

To reconnect with my subconscious, and to achieve a fulfilled and well rounded emotional outlook, I have decided to document what brings me joy. Whether it happens to be a flower, a rousing quote, book, song or a photograph, I have made a promise to myself to celebrate each moment that causes me to pause. By playing this type of game, I will be feeding my inner child, the master of my subconscious, with joy. Grooming my affirmations will help my journey of self-knowledge take on new meaning. Developing the muscle of appreciation will help me savor the little things. The little things matter. Once added up those little events and triumphs become a beacon of success.  Acknowledging those successes, will, in turn, boost my self-esteem.

Every day is pregnant with possibility.  Every day we have the opportunity to refine our thoughts and take charge of our lives. Every day can be a perfect day if we choose to look at it that way.

Don’t you want to stop the madness of your mind? Don’t you want to control your outlook? Don’t you want to feel unstoppable joy and success? Of course, you do! Play the game and release the power of your subconscious today.

“You must make certain to give your subconscious only suggestions, which heal, bless, elevate, and inspire you in all your ways. Remember that your subconscious mind cannot take a joke. It takes you at your word.”- Joseph Murphy, The Power of Your Subconscious Mind

 

Photo Credit: swong95765 via Compfight cc


Julie Anderson

Julie Anderson is the Creator and Publisher of Feminine Collective. Julie was inspired to create this safe place for women to share their secrets, desires, triumphs and pain as the antithesis of what mainstream media offers women today. In her column Pursuit of Perfection, she explores the importance of rectifying the balance of inner and outer beauty through essays, poems and articles on self-esteem, shame, family, and self- acceptance.

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