Don’t hold my hand.
Never hug me, kiss me
or tell me that you love me.
Always say things that stab my heart.
That is the way it should be.
What you feel is more important than my thoughts,
so please continue to speak over me.
Every mistake I have made,
color them in with a bold marker
Tell me about all the times that I have failed in love
failed my family.
because sometimes I prefer to forget.
Keep me hanging,
keep me on a leash.
Keep me confused.
Keep me desperate.
My decisions are the wrong ones
that is why you always reprimand me.
Yes it is true love.
The way you take loving control over me.
It doesn’t matter that you will not sleep with me.
I know that you can’t stand me.
I won’t beg.
I don’t need to feel your body next to mine.
I am arrogant,
the kind of woman you abhor.
Efforts that I make to better myself are never quite right.
I am happy that you call me out on that fact.
I have to try harder.
I am foolish.
I am a child,
locked in a fucked up woman’s body.
I am unlovable.