You are more than the size of your jeans

Maybe I’m just getting old, or maybe I am getting wiser, but women, it’s time that we stand up and realize that we are more than the size of our jeans. Our worth is not connected to whether we can shimmy our little (or big) butts into a designer pair of jeans. Why am I ranting at you about this? Well, let me tell you, I have fought weight issues all my life, most women have. From year to year, I may fluctuate, and it used to drive me crazy. Then I got the crazy idea … I am more than just the size of my jeans.

We, women, are out there in the workforce every day as lawyers, doctors, writers, mothers and every other career that you can name. We are successful women forging through life just like men. Making money, making decisions, teaching our children and helping run the world. Yet I can guarantee you the man sitting in the office next to you didn’t stop in the bathroom mirror, turn around and frown at his butt. We, women, are our own worst enemy. Do we let men and other women dictate how we should feel about ourselves because of the size of our jeans? Come on women … we are better than that. Our society is telling us and our daughters that we are allowed to be judged for what we look like more than the character of our souls.

It’s time for us to face facts, most of us aren’t models. (I know, you’re shocked at this point, but let me continue.) Very few women are even built correctly to be models, and these days even the models are being photoshopped to crazy proportions. If the models aren’t good enough, how is the average woman to compete?

Here’s the thing … we don’t have to. Yes, that’s right … I said we don’t have to compete. (Remove one domino and the row won’t fall over!) Why are you trying to be a size that’s unattainable? Is that even a healthy size to be for your frame? Who’s kidding who? I would kill to be a size 4, but, unfortunately, that’s never going to happen. So I have learned to be happy with the size I am, and you can too.

How did I do this? Well, it took some time and a big realization that I wanted to be judged as a person rather than a slab of meat. Being beautiful is wonderful, but when it comes down to it aren’t we all are beautiful? It’s how you perceive yourself and how you put yourself out to the world that makes you beautiful. If you believe you are, then the world will too. Really it’s just that simple. No tricks, no facelifts, no special expensive cream…it’s all in you.

I am lucky enough to have some amazing friends. Women of all shapes and sizes. I love to listen to them and hear their insights. One friend, most would call heavy (really she’s more Rubenesque) has the greatest outlook on life. She’s one of those people you like to be around. Always positive, always there to share a smile or help someone out. She also would be the first person to tell you that she is beautiful. She doesn’t care about her size or shape, she loves herself, and that’s what it’s all about. She knows she isn’t what the beauty industry would think is “print worthy” but she thinks they are missing out. What she cares about is how she feels about herself. She is a vibrant woman that radiates life. That light brings people to her and attracts men like a moth to a flame. She’s taken though, has been for many years to a husband who lets her know she’s loved. She’s a major advocate for healthy rather than skinny. This woman works out like no tomorrow, eats a low-carb diet and is constantly on the run. She has a good life and you can too no matter what size your jeans are.

On the other hand, I know several women who have been in long-term relationships in which their husbands or significant others harass them about their weight, blaming their weight gain on the failures in their relationships. Women, if your other half is not happy with the way you look, it’s a reflection of their baggage, not yours. If they really loved you, it wouldn’t matter if you had purple skin, green hair and were the size of a pro wrestler. Sure, we all gain weight, have kids, change and grow … but after a decade in a marriage, we all hope that our spouse will see us for who we are. Love, real love, is about the person inside, not the size of your jeans. (Do you see a trend here?)

Being in my 40’s, my size has changed from decade to decade, all women’s do. That’s what is glorious about being a woman. We can change and adapt for what we have to accomplish … our bodies do that too. So why are you trying to be a size two, four or any other size other than the size you actually are? For a man’s approval? Let me stop you right there. If you think the only way you’re going to get a man is to be rail thin, well I have a newsflash for you. Most men would rather be with a woman who is happy and self-confident about who they are than be model thin. You need to realize that you are perfect just the way you are. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size 2 or a size 22, you are perfect. Once you accept that fact, everything else will fall into place.

So repeat this mantra after me, “My worth is not equal to the size of my jeans.” Say it loud and say it proud. “My worth is not equal to the size of my jeans.” Put it on a sticky note on your mirror. Stick it to the dash of your car. Magnet it to your fridge. “My worth is not equal to the size of my jeans.” Say it daily and watch your world change.

Photo Credit: Anne Worner Flickr via Compfight cc

SA Smith

SA Smith has always loved the magical life. She is the bestselling Amazon author of FOREVER, her four part young adult paranormal romance series. She is an advocate for women of all shapes and sizes. Believing that we are all enough just as we are, and needing to spread that word far and wide. Having been diagnosed with CRPS over 12 years ago, SA also uses her writing to increase social awareness of the disease. Writing is her passion. She often tells friends that writing is a journey for her. It’s like spending time with friends. "I just follow my characters along on their adventures, like a fly on the wall, and see where they take me." SA currently lives in Florida with her best friend/husband and their one son.

  1. Jackie Cioffa

    I keep various sizes of jeans in my closet, that way the perfect size will always fit at the right time. Thanks for the insightful and empowering self-confidence boost. Even models have growing pains that have nothing to do with size. 🙂 LOL

  2. Erin Righetti

    Love the article Sherri. Funny thing is, from store to store I am totally different jean sizes. Sizing seems like made up shit.

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    Great article, full of truth. Thanks for putting this wisdom down into words that we can share widely. Posting this link to my FB wall!

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    Jennifer Rita Harris

    It takes an incredible woman to recognize it in her fellow sisters. I happen to know this one lady, she’s a wonderful writer and has a beautiful family. She inspires me on a daily basis. She happens to be creative, smart and gorgeous! I’m glad to call her friend!!

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