Category: Emotional Health
Chocolate Melted Hearts
I’m a rainbow sprinkles twist kind of girl, or BlackBerry Ice Cream straight from the dairy farm. So when exactly, at what precise moment did I grow a gaping sinkhole right above my sweet and bitter chocolate heart? You can’t keep piling unicorns, puppy dogs, and positive affirmations atop the Read more
How to NOT Become an Altar Boy
Since the beginning, I can remember I’ve always hated the Church. I just could not stand it. Way before I first watched Joel Osteen and his Mega Church extravaganza and way before I first watched that sack of shit faith healer Benny Hinn fake heal someone, I never liked the Read more
My Body is a Poem
I’m beautiful. I say it under the dim bathroom light: I. Am. Beautiful. I take solace in the light on my face. I take solace in the light on my skin, on the fat that creases and bulges. I hold my stomach in my hands, squish and squash my love Read more
Grandmother-ish
Trudging up the stairs to my grandmother’s third-floor walkup in Manhattan we finally arrive at our destination, tired and panting from carrying our bags, the stroller, and Haven, our two-year-old daughter. We knock once, and my mother opens the door immediately. “Hey, everyone. Happy you made it down safe,” she Read more
Five Thoughts
Five long, sticky and clinging thin, thinner, thinnest: numbering. One small and short, a stubble amongst the firs on her palm, the rest four ticking like ugly babies shoved in a cradle in a casket. The lines bleed out a night’s hard work we cry crimson and one sticks out Read more
Seeing Myself Through My Own Eyes
Fatty, fatty two by four, can’t fit through the kitchen door. Their names and faces are lost in history, but their words remain my constant truth. School yard chant buried deep under my skin, wrapped around my heart, that creeps through my brain, popping up like a boogey monster whenever Read more
My Insane Relationship with a Rapist
Ashamed to admit it, yet it is the truth, I slept with my rapist several times after he raped me on two separate occasions. The first rape happened in NYC during a photo test shoot soon after I arrived to begin my modeling career. I was 20-years-young, full of hope Read more