Constellation of Pleasure: Only the Stars Can Hear Me

Chapter 1: Bloodguilt “You’re done with your period, right?” Elijah asked as he lit the candle on the nightstand beside his bed. It was already burnt down from use, but I knew better than to ask why. I wasn’t sure how to answer him at first. I had seen some Read more

DB Maddox

I was a clueless kid back then but I always followed my heart; I knew I wanted to be a Writer but I didn't know what that meant, or what my options were. So I became an Editor--it was something that just came naturally to me. Twenty-plus years later, I'm still an Editor. It has served me well, at least in the day-to-day; and when you're in survival mode, just getting through the day is enough. But at roughly the midway mark of my career, and looking up from the precipice of what must have been my 17th relapse, I thought that maybe this was just my destiny, and if so, there simply had to be value in chronicling it. And while my reasons for writing a memoir may have been tenuous and ever-evolving, it was never about catharsis. Instead, by reliving the trauma of my upbringing and the desperation of my youth, I discovered that I had had agency all along, in my own twisted way; and I felt compelled to share that revelation and have spent years searching for a platform to do just that--until I found the Feminine Collective. I invite you to engage therein with this ongoing series of excerpts from my debut memoir, "Constellation of Pleasure: Only the Stars Can Hear Me," a tale unduly tragic, but through which I expect readers will perceive a reflection of themselves to whatever degree, and be empowered.

a list of things that are yellow

sunlight egg yolk daffodils a rare diamond amber anything not alive our house a sickly skin tone bruises the car you owned when we met butter lemons fallen leaves pineapples the tie you tried to strangle me with the straw in the ice water they gave me to drink at Read more

Anne Leigh Parrish

Award-winning writer Anne Leigh Parrish’s next novel, an open door, will be published in October 2022 by Unsolicited Press. Recent titles from Unsolicited Press are the moon won’t be dared, a poetry collection, October 2021, and a winter night, a novel, released in March 2021. She is the author of seven other books. She has recently ventured into the art of photography and lives in the South Sound Region of Washington State. Find her online at her website, Twitter, Facebook, Medium, Instagram, Linked In, and Goodreads.

When I Was Twenty-One

Our eyes met across the smoke filled bar The Boss playing on repeat on an 80’s jukebox I was a big girl doing shots Laughing, dancing and singing with my girls Not a care in the world or one fuck’s sake In my short skirt, ripped tank, fishnets and combat Read more

Jacqueline Cioffa

A retired, international model, and celebrity makeup artist. Co-Author of Model Citi Zen, the guide. Founder of http://modelcitizenmakeup.blogspot.com/. Author of numerous prose pieces in various literary magazines. Most recently published in Little Episodes Brainstorms the anthology, among esteemed artists Sadie Frost, Melvin Burgess and Todd Swift.

Blow (A Love Story)

Your eyes, dark chocolate melted and mixed with sin. Impetuous daring, I slipped into the bucket seat. You said, Fasten your seatbelt, this will be the ride of your life. Charming, sinister candor. Boisterous bravado, you could give not one fuck. Daring, dashing, insane. Possessive. I mean, stalking me in Read more

Julie Anderson

Julie Anderson is the Creator and Publisher of Feminine Collective. Julie was inspired to create this safe place for women to share their secrets, desires, triumphs and pain as the antithesis of what mainstream media offers women today. In her column Pursuit of Perfection, she explores the importance of rectifying the balance of inner and outer beauty through essays, poems and articles on self-esteem, shame, family, and self- acceptance.

My Mother’s Death

My mother’s death was a shock at first. And then it was a relief. She was diagnosed with bone cancer on March 9, 2012. She died in the last minutes of March 21. How long she had had the bone cancer, her doctor would not suppose. What was known was Read more

Adrienne Pine

Adrienne Pine's creative nonfiction has been published in The Write Place at the Write Time, Tale of Four Cities, The Yale Journal of Humanities in Medicine, and other venues.

Collateral Damage

Collateral damage. The most accurate way to describe how I have come to this point in my life. To know how it feels to exist in a space I wasn’t wanted. To be born into a world I was never meant to be in. My entire existence is wrapped around Read more

Jackie Filer

Jackie Filer is a freelancer in the entertainment world. She works in television, theatre and film in a multitude of aspects; covering any ground that needs to be covered. New York has laid a stake in her and Jackie now calls the city home. Any spare time she has you will find her drinking wine with her girls or on the top of a mountain discovering new perspectives on life.

To the Man in the White Honda

I can’t comb the phone book or look online for your info, our brush so brief and fraught with drama there was no time for niceties like names exchanged. I don’t remember even the color of your hair; I pressed on my crushed ribs and stared at the cracked dashboard Read more

Jennifer Wheelock

Jennifer Wheelock's poems have appeared or are forthcoming in many journals and anthologies, including Post Road, Lake Effect, Stone River Sky: An Anthology of Georgia Poems (Negative Capability Press), Flycatcher, Diagram, Quill’s Edge Press, River Styx, Atlanta Review, New Millennium Writings, The Inflectionist Review, and North Atlantic Review. She lives and works in Los Angeles and is also a painter.

Sex with Strangers

It was a dare, oh yes it was I was young crazy and in lust. You were dangerous. The right kind of madness had arrived just in time. We were in the city, the one where anything goes where no one tells private secrets laced with lies. Your lack of Read more

Julie Anderson

Julie Anderson is the Creator and Publisher of Feminine Collective. Julie was inspired to create this safe place for women to share their secrets, desires, triumphs and pain as the antithesis of what mainstream media offers women today. In her column Pursuit of Perfection, she explores the importance of rectifying the balance of inner and outer beauty through essays, poems and articles on self-esteem, shame, family, and self- acceptance.