Garden Of Solitude
I was always choosing between a relationship and my cherished
and essential alonement
my connection to Self
denied for dozens of years
choosing validation by whomever wanted to fuck me
Tag: emotional health
Waif’s Fear
Words fly on the midnight sparks
They land sideways burning our dust
I stand on the edge, my breath a stream
My step a noose, a lonely dream.
Tempter Scenario
However clear, it is
always unclear to hit the
mark of unquestioning
compatibility that will
some day make history
in the circle of
unemployed emotions
while keeping the door
unlocked, with vague
promises, unfinished
sentences, and laced with
a lingering scent of
the past
Shelter
This is my muted voice. This is a language of my own choosing. The kind that pulls me away from people and erects walls in the vacuum of the Jungian deep.
Apathy
Turning in on itself,
turning out reflecting images of men,
transforming into disgust.
Faggot
The raw emotions continue to be painful. I’m still spazzing. I’m still distraught. I’m still frantic and furious. I’m working hard to shed this baggage and the image that has been branded upon me. Meanwhile, I am damaged. Mentally and physically, I am unable to cope on my own. I need support. I need help. I need an advocate.
I finally understand what it means to be a survivor. I must find my footing, pave my way, and mow over the resistance. Even if I’m all alone, I fully intend to fight for my self-worth for as long as it takes.
The Perils of the Business World
I touched upon my entire anatomy of silver ribbons and glittering intentions and deep black tar of unidentifiable insecurity without first learning how each part of me functioned.
Skipping Rocks
The most beautiful moment I had in college (aside from the day I bought myself a vibrator or learned to make poached eggs) was when I went to the lake, picked up a flat stone the size of a driver’s license and threw it. It skipped four times, just like that. I didn’t need CJ to show me how to do it, reveal any special secret to me. In the end, I didn’t need him, didn’t want him, at all.