humor

Vitamin D

I’m sitting on your porch thinking about the cloud I could be stepping off of but nevertheless still feel melted into you’re over there...

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The End of the Line

I woke up, mouth wide open, with my cheek snuggled into the wet spot of saliva on my pillow. The scent of stale vodka, tinged with a splash...

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Agony Column

Dear Glutton for Punishment, How much longer are you going to put yourself through hell with this man? You’ve been dating three years...

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Judy.

I named my uterus Judy a few years ago. It made sense at the time. Calling it “Judy” gave me the freedom to air my bodily grievances...

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Vehicles and Men

If it has tires or testicles, it’s going to give you problems. The bumper sticker was catchy and summed my life up to a capital T. I...

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Emotional Odyssey at the Department of Motor Vehicles

I always see at least one handsome man at the DMV. It’s never one of the workers (bitter civil servants who never give you adequate...

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Panties Be Gone

I love to feel the breeze above my knees, swirling beneath ballooning skirt, and reaching my secret places unhampered by nylon, lace,...

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You’re Hired! Welcome to the World of Live-Cam Modeling!

It’s not very often I have time to lounge around the house. Recently, however, my wife was out of town and I was privileged to enjoy an...

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Sometimes, A Man Still Needs His Mom

“…a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31...

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Bumper Sticker Philosophies: America’s Automobile Dialogue

“Come on, seriously! No one cares about your honor student child!” I shout this out loud to myself every time I’m driving and see one...

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Floored

Last weekend I had a lovely evening planned: dinner at my house with a friend, followed by a symphony concert. I prepared a simple and...

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Girly Feet

If you really want to insult me, the worst thing you could possibly do is compliment my bare feet. In fact, I would rather you point, laugh...

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Unwelcome Burial Benefits and Sagging Thighs

In the past week a couple of things have happened that have brought me face to face with my own mortality; also with the fact that turning...

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Why Stalking Can Help You Get Over a Guy

I was doing some internet stalking the other night. It’s a habit that falls somewhere between nail-biting and mainlining, in the sense...

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I AM A CARB-O-HOLIC

Hello, my name is Julie. This is my first time coming to a meeting with fellow carb-o-holics. I must say that it is a relief looking around...

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