depression

Killing Myself to Sleep

I’m not complaining about being sober. The benefits of sobriety alone completely outweigh the losing prize waiting for me at the end of...

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The Beast

When the beast comes for me, sulphuric fumes slowly take over the neurons in my mind. A stealth creature, it’s prowess matched only...

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I Have Three Children

The question I dread the most as a grieving mother is; “How many children do you have?” It’s not that I don’t know how to...

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Isn’t That What Friends Are For?

Decades ago, when I was in elementary school, I did have a few genuine friends. However, the so-called cool kids swiftly kicked us to the...

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Sometimes

Sometimes I want to sleep forever Sleep forever and maybe Wake-up never. Sometimes You make me think of you It makes me sad When I do....

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Daybreak

These words won’t come easy to me Even though they’re all I see I’m frightened and all alone in my head Chained like a prisoner to my...

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Love in the Time of Dementia

My mom desires a closeness with me now that she never did when I was young. I’d long suspected my mother didn’t embrace parenting in...

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Seeking Full-Time Depression

I am seeking a confidant, a loser like me. My pre-requisites are simple. I desire a lack of ambition. I am looking for self-loathing. This...

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After Death of Birth

I found my death when I gave a life, but life played a trick on me. She brought back my ghost to live in a body that talks and thinks, of...

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Music Makes The World Go Round

A Simon and Garfunkel record plays in the background as the clock announces that it is past midnight. I am not tired at all. It must have...

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Here Inside the Mirror

There comes an age when screwing up is not cute anymore. You know that, because people are constantly telling you. It’s not cute anymore,...

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Misplaced Words

Silence after silence sets my mood. I circled the roots of life stumbling again only to be resurrected by a brand new day hoping the...

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Grief in Edinburgh

Butterflies stopped visiting the meadow the year your light went out. Daffodils were joyless and sadness weighed down the Barn owl’s...

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White Boys

Something in me popped Just stopped— and as I waited around I mopped up the dreams I dreamt when I was a kid and you said I could do...

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Slumber Party with Carrie Fisher

Fucking 6:00 am train, I used to think passing trains were cute, romantic even. Now I only hear the shrill, and screeching nuisance.The...

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Victoria’s Secret Needs a Makeover: Former Models Speak Out

Written by Nikki DuBose & Cherise Shaddix We are Nikki DuBose and Cherise Shaddix, two former models working to be role models for the...

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Shadow People

The majestic trees stand silent as their burnt leaves free-fall to the ground. The short season to live and die is upon us. There is no...

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This Mask I Wear

I see the morning light coming through the window. I roll over, not wanting to get up. Not wanting to face another day, just like the last....

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Even With Mental Health Services, Sometimes Suicide Prevention is Impossible

Suicide Prevention Day was September 10. That day, my Facebook feed was emblazoned with posts about mental health, about suicide hotlines,...

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Unhappy Girl

The hot, humid morning of July woke her up. The cool sheets couldn’t contain the fire inside her body A familiar sensation she’d...

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Bullying

When I was a child about 3,000 years ago, there was always the school yard bully. We knew who he was or at times, who she was and we all...

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Can I see California? (Once before I die)

I must see California before I die. This is not an option for myself. I would walk the 3000 miles upon nails and razors only to see the...

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Pain that Lasts and Pain that Fades

I can go get art etched into my skin. I can change my exterior, greatly and forever transform me, in only hours. And that feels like power....

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Life With An Invisible Illness

in·vis·i·ble adjective: unable to be seen; not visible to the eye  ill·ness noun: a disease or period of sickness affecting the body...

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Managing Adult ADHD

Patience is a conquering virtue. —Geoffrey Chaucer Patience is almost a survival tool to self-preservation. In this case, the...

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A Part in the Clouds

Recently I stepped out of a darkness I didn’t realize I was in, and leaving it behind is a process. I believe I would be selling myself...

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